Tennis Parents

Peter Bodo's TennisWorld featured a post Monday on parenting that was predictably provocative. He includes a link to a fascinating piece by David Johnson on the Menendez Brothers, and discusses other notorious tennis parents. It's all too complex to reduce to a catch phrase, but To Push or Not To Push seems to be the question.

I hope I don't get into trouble by excerpting a bit from a recent TennisOne newsletter. In a piece by Dave Smith, who did a three-part series on The State of American Tennis, he says:

There is, however, one additional concept that I wanted to discuss, one that has not been identified in most tennis circles. “Quitting when it gets too tough!”

Today, a large percentage of kids are being introduced to a wide variety of activities; from gymnastics to violin, from dance to Martial Arts, from piano to cheerleading, from Pop Warner football to Tee-Ball. Obviously, it is a[sic] helpful for kids to be exposed to a wide variety of sports, hobbies and activities. Each contributes to a child’s well-rounded sense of body movement, balance, and coordination, among other attributes.

However, there is sometimes a downside to this diversity when older children are involved. When any activity becomes more challenging, the tendency is to abandon it and try something else. This usually starts at a young age, disguised as developing diversity. Many children never learn to overcome the challenging aspects of activities and sports because they know they can go on to something else if the going gets tough in the program they are in.

I guess everyone would like to find something they could do well without really having to try very hard at it, or if not that, at least find an activity that suits a skill they might develop. But no amount of dedication and hard work is going to make me a good singer--I just don't have the equipment. Once an activity is identified as compatible however, it needs to be studied and practiced and understood. And that's where I think parents need to insist the effort is made.

I've seen and met in my travels many more good tennis parents than bad ones. I freely admit I avoid prolonged contact with those who seem to lack perspective on the role of tennis in their child's life. But most love the game, and appreciate it apart from its embodiment in their child. They recognize the maturity, dedication and discipline it requires; in the end it is not the parent that is demanding--it's the sport itself.