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Monday, February 20, 2006

Tennis dad: Mentor or tormentor?:: Palm Beach Post

Tennis dad: Mentor or tormentor?~~~

I saw the Iyeyemi family at the Eddie Herr last year and though there were over 1,000 kids there, as this story says in the opening paragraph, it wasn't hard to remember them. The number of tennis-playing children that can be described as "raggedy" with "dingy and tattered clothes" is small, believe me.

I won't pretend that I have anything to add to this comprehensive, exhaustive and balanced look at the arrest of Clement Iyeyemi. It's obvious that the reporter spent close to a month gathering information for this story, and it now will be played out in the courts of France. But please read the story and take a moment to consider the family torn apart by a tennis dream.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Horrible story but unfortunately prevelant in today's young tennis. Many parents are at fault for pushing their kids to win, at any expense, including cheating. If one watched the Eddie Herr or Jr. Orange Bowl, the amount of arguements over line calls, in's and out's was worst with the parents than on the court.

Fault lies with the organizations running these events by not providing referees, linesman, officials to avoid these problems.

This father should be incarcerated for trying to live "his dream" through his kids. He, and the coaches who support him, should all be barred from the game.

Education, starting with the parents about the game is needed.

Winning isn't everything in tennis, especially when you're a kid learning how to play a great game.

Anonymous said...

Winning is everything. and it starts right up at the USTA here in this country. Cheating, unsportsmanlike conduct, understaffed linesman at tournaments, who as soon as they walk away, the cycle of cheating often repeats itself. Yes, "education starting with the parents about the game" is needed. But also, education for the USTA as well. Yes, learning how to deal with adversity makes you tough. But should it come at the potential expense of being able to learn a great game, and enjoy it for life? OK, where is she going with this you ask? How about removing the current USTA ranking system, where the emphasis is on results only? Where the pressure to get sponserships, or be noticed by the USTA is all about winning? When I say winning, I mean at such a young age, when the need for proper tennis technique development should perhaps take priority? I wish I had an answer to this. And I sure hope those kids will still have an oppurtunity to play tennis, if thats indeed what they want.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear of Clement's story. I knew him as a teenager. He tutored me in Math and Physics. I have to say I have always thought fondly of him. In fact he was a great influence in my life. Math was always my worst subject in school and I now work with a financial institution! I credit Clement for that.
I knew him as a hard worker and passionate about everything he does. He always strived to be the best and was the best at everything. He is an amazing man. It deeply saddens me to hear all the trouble he is in right now.

Anonymous said...

If he was smart, he should have taken the scholarships at Nick Bollettieri over in Bradenton. Then his wife could come over and be with the family and be taken care of. Pride is a bad thing sometimes.

Anonymous said...

CLEMENT IYEYEMI AND HIS GIRLS SPENT
A GREAT DEAL OF TIME AT MY HOME. THEY STAYED FOR SEVERAL WEEKS ON
THREE DIFFERENT OCCASIONS. I KNEW HIM WELL ENOUGH TO TRUST HIM IN MY HOME WITH MY KIDS. I CAN SAY THAT
HIS HEART WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
CLEMENT IS A WONDERFUL MAN AND I HAVE SEEN HIM DECIPLINE HIS KIDS.
MOSTLY THROUGH HIS COMMANDING VOICE
BUT NEVER PHYSICALLY TO INJURY. THE
GIRLS RESPECTED HIM AND I FELT THAT
THEY UNDERSTOOD HIS DIRECTION. I NOTICED THEM ALWAYS EITHER
SINGING SONGS TOGETHER, LAUGHING ABOUT JOKES, LEARNING THERE SCHOOL WORK AND PLAYING MATH GAMES WITH
NO PAPER OR PENCILS. THEY READ BOOKS IN THE DARK WITH FLASH LIGHTS AND THEY WAS HAPPY. HE WOULD ALWAYS CALL THE MOTHER IN FRANCE NIGHTLY. THEY ALL LOVED AMERICA VERY MUCH AND WANTED TO SOMEDAY REPRESENT THE USA. TENNIS FOR THE GIRLS WAS LIKE BLOOD THAT FLOWS IN VIENS. THEY CRAVED THE SPORT AND THEY UNDERSTAND CLEMENTS DIRECTION. I DON'T EXPECT THE REGULAR GUY TO UNDERSTAND CLEMENTS PASSION. NOT TOO MANY PARENTS CARRY PASSION FOR THEIR KIDS FUTURES. CLEMENT INVESTED YEARS IN HIS KIDS DEVELOPEMENT. THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES IN TENNIS. MANY PARENTS TRY TO BUY "THE TENNIS CAREER" FOR THEIR KID. INSTEAD THEY TAKE SIX FIGURE LOSES AND COMPLAIN WITH NEGATIVITY ABOUT A MAN LIKE CLEMENT THAT UNDERSTANDS HARD WORK. IT'S UNFORTUNATE THIS HAS HAPPENED. LASTLY, I ALWAYS HEARD CLEMENT SPEAK POSITIVELY TO THE GIRLS ABOUT THE MOTHER. IN CLEMENTS WORDS TO THE GIRLS,"TO DISRESPECT THE MOTHER WOULD LEAD TO HATING THEMSELVES AND HARMING THE GIRLS SELF ESTEEM. HE WAS ALWAYS POSITIVE ABOUT HIS WIFE. IN ADDITION, THE FEW TIMES I SPOKEN TO THE MOTHER FROM FRANCE ON MY PHONE SHE THANKED ME FOR MY HOSPITALITY AND WAS GREATFUL THAT I HELP HER FAMILY AS I DID. SHE SEEMED VERY SINCERE TO ME AND APPRECIATIVE.
IT'S SAD BECAUSE AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE, CLEMENT WILL SOMEDAY HAVE HIS SAY. THE GIRLS WILL
BACK THE FATHER AND PRAISE HIS PRESENCE. SADLY MANY FATHERS ARE THE FINAL VICTIMS IN TENNIS. JUST ASK RICHARD WILLIAMS. WISH CLEMENT THE BEST AND I HOPE HE CAN STILL SMILE AND LAUGH WITH HIS GIRLS AFTER THIS HORRIBLE, HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE. IT'S SUCH A SHAME BECUASE I BELIEVE 100% THAT THOSE GIRLS WANT AND NEED CLEMENT. HE IS
WITHOUT DOUGHT A GOOD MAN. FOR THE RECORD "TENNIS ACADEMIES" CANNOT
MAKE TENNIS CHAMPIONS. PARENTS LIKE
CLEMENT HAS BIULT THE KIDS GAME. ACADEMIES DO THE POLISHING AND
TAKE THE CREDIT. REMEMBER PARENTS,
"YOU CAN'T TAKE AN ASS TO THE KENTUCKY DERBY, FIRST YOU NEED A RACE HORSE."